I'm not sure if my youth is fading. I guess it depends on how one defines youth. A once -popular poet described youth as NOT the time of red cheeks, red lips, or supple knees, etc. But rather, youth is a state of mind, and oh, I would like to think it that way too!
I was about 10 years old when every afternoon after school , I would trot along the green lawn in our quite spacious school yard and then lie down on the grass and look at the ever azure skies then think of the future -- where my friends and I will be 10 years hence. I would set rigorous training schedules and strict athletes' diet for me to follow when I admired and imitated great Olympic runners and other athletes. I would write poems of what I admire in nature and young love. I would sink on reveries while playing heavy classical music, etc. There were literally multiples of ideals I have let my mind be passionately awed of when I was young--er.... School was just OK although it never challenged me. No, I never drank. I never did drugs nor sex, nor whatever foolish things of the youth. But by having lots of ideals and rules to follow created in me some heartfelt burdens of disillusion. Where would all these lead me? What is the meaning of all these?
One hot afternoon after school in my sophomore year in high school, I sat in one of the chairs of a vacated classroom and listened to a college student leading a Bible study. We were 4 or 5 of my classmates listening. I found myself meditating on Psalm 139. And there, I came to realize that before I was born, God knew me. It was overwhelming to think that I cannot hide anything from God, not even my secret thoughts!
Awesome! God is just so awesome. That afternoon was years and years ago. And up to this day, I can't help myself being passionate about searching what God has to say.
It is found in the Bible. Never reject it until you've read it. Be passionate about the real thing.
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